Growing up, my parents were the epitome of companionship, a symbol of stability, commitment and the ultimate partnership anybody could hope for. This conviction was always so strong that it created unrealistic expectations in my then relations and broke my heart when I grew older to discover the entire truth on a more realistic level.
This discovery woke me up quickly. I had a more mature thought process compared to my peers, I dismissed deceptive nonsense much faster and settled with the idea of indefinite spinsterhood.
Enter Ross.
I met him at a field event with the company I was working for at the time. I lingered around his table at the conference as I smiled and he complimented my diastema. We exchanged a look that spoke volumes in silence. He came a bit too close to my personal space and all I could think about was when I would get to kiss his luscious lips. Ross and I had obvious chemistry and I remember walking away feeling a bit too radiant.
Our first kiss was in his car, he had parked a little out of sight from the main street. He leaned in, grabbed me by my waist, exhausting my torso, pulled me with surety and kissed me so hard that my neck almost gave out. I pushed him away as if to object, so he apologized and called it a night.
After about five days of silence, I Googled him. There he was, in an online monthly newsletter, grasping his wife’s hand, with a matching band on both their fingers; wearing a joyful grin. And just like that, I had become an accomplice in a minor affair without my consent. I thought of his beautiful wife and whether she was aware of her husband’s behavior, perhaps she was also running the same game. But that only came off as petty and self-serving. It only dug deeper into my soul knowing that this was not the first married man that I had dealt with.
Where does someone find a single, accomplished, handsome man that hasn’t fathered a child in these parts? Where?
Frankly speaking, I have resigned to believe that even those that don’t have children, are not sure whether they fathered them in their past. Far be it from the truth, a married man has it in his marrow to seek for happiness, that’s why he got married in the first place. He doesn’t really care about you. Not as much. Anything beyond that constitutes for the 20% he doesn’t find in his wife/partner. Refer to the 80/20 rule.
Do not fall for the, “Had I know you by then…” or the “I wish it were you…” grand theft lie. You may be beautiful, a flirt, successful, easy, mature in thought, superficial and all these attributes attract married men like flies to rotting fruit. However, there are other traits/behaviors that execute the course:
A. Maybe you drink too much. Where you hang out will attract a certain kind of man and the bar is where most married men go astray.
B. Perhaps you appear as a damsel in distress. Many married men have Superman syndrome because they are stable and successful and they can use their money and influence to woo a single woman by helping her. They are the type who want to be a sponsor to a woman who is desperate enough to have an affair.
C. Maybe you like to play along. You are keen on being part of an affair because you find it thrilling. On the surface you lament why only married men are after you, but in secret you entertain married men. You often find yourself in situations where you want to say no but it’s easier to go with the wind.
I will never be convinced that married men are genuine, they are selfish. Be true to self and don’t get invested. Even if he manages to leave his wife for you, what are the chances that he won’t leave you for another?
Legendary Automation Of Diction 